I have always found driving to be therapeutic and this past week I have needed lots of therapy. Driving from Toronto to Newfoundland helped some. Then on my trip into St. John's today I found that I had made a breakthrough in recognizing and accepting my own culpability in how messy and painful my recent breakup with my former partner had been.
I did and said things that caused a lot of pain for people I care about deeply and that was both unfair and unnecessary. I have written to all of them to apologize. I have never been one to hold grudges but doing that sometimes entails an intense emotional purging. This time that purging got out of control. I can only hope that anyone I have hurt in the process is not burdened with pain and anger because of me.
Soon I must prepare to make important decisions about my future but not now. I have healed in part and I have tried to heal the hurts I caused. Now I will take time to enjoy the holiday season with my children and grandchildren and sister and cousins.
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