How do I spend my evenings?

My nephew Rob was asked what he did down here at Black back by friends in Toronto. His answer was simple and direct "Nothing." Well that is not entirely true but it does capture the spirit of this place.

Of course there are sunrises to watch if you arise early enough and even better sunsets to enjoy as you sip your evening cocktail.
Dammit where is that cocktail shaker?

Oceans of peace...

As I was walking along the beach today with Sneaky I felt a wonderful sense of peace come over me. It flowed in with the sound of waves breaking on the sand and then rolling in whispers back to the waiting arms of the ocean.

The sky was that sullen grey that can only be found on coastlines rubbing against the north Atlantic. Ridges of moisture sliding across the water and the wind blew ragged bursts of bitter air this way then that battering the golden beach grass this way and then that.


Still I felt unburdened and free of responsibility and obligation. Overhead the piercing thweep of the Osprey disrupted my solitude. I looked up in awe of this great bird that had lived on our land as long as I could remember. My spirit soared from the gentle peace it had found and embraced the surging desire to rise to the air and hunt.

All settled in...

I woke up today feeling more settled than I have been in a long time. It is not that the novelty of being in my family home has worn off so much as I feel like I am back in my own life. It is only with that awareness that I realize that I felt alienated form my own sense of being for a lot of years.

[Original drawing by Steve Colgan]

Perhaps I lost connection with myself a long time ago. I really do not know when it actually happened only that it has been restored. Being here, being alone with time to reflect and focus on myself without distraction is a wonderful gift. Life flows here; it does not rush. There is an odd sense of the mystical blended with a groundedness that allows me to float free without feeling disconnected or aimless in this place. Anyone who has spent time here knows what I mean.

I am sure the faerie abound here. Perhaps they came over from the isles with my ancestors. Perhaps they have always been here. Whatever the case they must be respected for they have blessed this place and all who come to rest and restore themselves have but to believe and they will be refreshed.

Sanctorum sanctorium...

Except for Sneaky, my sister Gwendolyn's dog, I am alone here tonight and will be for the next few days. I don't think I can actually remember ever spending a night here entirely by myself. It is a feeling mixed with excitement and apprehension.

This place has incredible energy in it and the house is particularly charged. I can feel the presences of every person who ever entered and laughed and cried and was embraced by this home. I can hear the low crackling of the fire in the stove. It is flickering low now, consuming the last of the birch and white spruce I filled it with.

I feel secure here - not so much at peace [that would be boring] as simply at home. I belong here as does all of my family. With my grandchildren there have been five generations of my family in this house. My roots are here. I am home.