I read an article in the Globe and Mail today about the new singles - men who chose to not commit to a single monogamous relationship. This is not the old roue or Casanova who just want to play the field. It is a much more profound decision where a man choses to remain single because he is happy in his singularity. For some it is in fact celibate life. For others it is one of serial monogamy.
There has been a great deal of attention paid to the single female - sometimes portrayed as a kind of fatalism where a woman comes to accept that she has paid the social price of career over family. But the scenario is radically different for men. Some have never married. Others have tried and failed.
I fall into the second category. I was married for over 22 years - in fact I was legally married for 25. Then I began a second committed relationship that lasted another 10 or so. Now I find I really cannot imagine myself ever choosing that again. I have to be honest here. Part of my decision comes from an unwillingness to risk being hurt.
But more importantly, the critical fact that tips the balance is that I am very happy being single. Now do not get me wrong. I still desire women. I still love their company and enjoy the pleasures of making love and being intimate but I value my freedom so profoundly that I know I could never again commit to be with just one woman forever or even for a long time.
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