The harm we do...

As much as we may wish to, we cannot undo the pain and harm we have caused to others. And when we find that difficult to accept we must ask ourselves just why we are still driven to attempt to heal the old wounds. If we are honest with ourselves, we acknowledge that in part we are struggling with our own guilt and shame. We want to remove the blemish from our own past even when we truly desire to heal the pain others may yet feel.

That is ego. It is the need to find perfection in our sense of self, a need that may not only dominate the present but may also seek to change the past. The past remain unmoved, unchanged by our struggle to deal with the present. The one way out of this dilemma is acceptance. We must accept not just who we are but who we have been. If we can accept our past, we can be free of the distraction of guilt and shame and begin to heal ourselves. We have to heal ourselves because no one else can. The most we can do for others is to make amends for our past by living a different present and future. This does not preclude the need to seek forgiveness and to fully and unreservedly accept responsibility for harm we have done and pain we have caused.

It is truly the only gift we can offer to those we have hurt. In turn we must accept full responsibility for our own pain and suffering. We must live our lives as an amendment to the past. We each must heal ourselves. We must choose to be fully present in our own lives, consciously living each and every day, seeking perfection in the simplest act without burdening ourselves with the unrelenting ambition to be always perfect.