Finding myself...

Like many other people I often reflect on who I am, trying to gain some insight into what matters to me - what I want to be when I grow up. There is a risk of becoming self-absorbed or even self-obsessed and I sometimes worry that I am sliding into that state. Still, I am very conscious of the time that has already passed in my life and I am also keenly aware that I really do not know just how much time I actually have left. My health is great and I try to maintain some level of physical fitness but to say I am in absolute control is a lie or at best an illusion.

No one is really ever in complete control but that does not mean any of us should give into despair or high anxiety. Rather we must live in those moments of clarity and joy that transcend the mundane nature of our daily lives. Those moments often come as a surprise. Sometimes they are not new but are experienced in a new way. Usually, for me it means that there is something I "know" but only intellectually. It is the experience of feeling the insight that is most profound.

In this case it has to do with teaching. I am just finishing up teaching my second academic course, this time in academic writing. It was not even one that I really saw as critical to my professional development. But it was comments from some of my students that changed my connection to the course. Several of them thanked me for helping them to understand that they could write academically and just as importantly enjoy the process. As a teacher I cannot imagine a better accolade. Now I know that I can not only teach - I am a teacher in a profound sense of being.