I have just a little over a week left here in Calgary. Soon I will be heading back to Newfoundland either to begin my fieldwork or to find some other purpose for my life. Calgary has in some ways been home since 2000. I thought I would be leaving, shaking the dust off my boots but as the day approaches I find that I am becoming more reflective not about the place but about some of the people. I have many friends here and some of them hold a very special place in my heart. I won't get to say goodbye to most of them and that I regret because they have touched me in ways that cannot be easily expressed.
I can only hope that they know I carry them in my heart wherever I go and believe that I cherish the time we had together.
But the road winds on ahead and calls me away. I am the gypsy boy chasing the will-0-wisp and I cannot bide but I will always dream of the times that were and the times that might have been. A blessing on you all my friends.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
On trying to become a candidate...
No I am not looking at politics as my next career move. I could not be a politician in Canada today I have too much self-esteem to lower myself into the silly, juvenile game that has corrupted and besmirched the very notion of a democratic parliament. But then voters get the government they deserve.
Still I digress. The candidacy I aspire to is for a PhD. What I have been working so diligently towards is to be permitted to actually begin the fieldwork that will give me the material I need to write the dissertation that will qualify me to add Doctor of Philosophy to my list of life accomplishments. Most people who pursue this degree are intent on establishing academic careers. I am simply following a path in life that may lead me to some greater measure of wisdom. This is not about being it is about becoming, though I honestly cannot tell you what it is I expect to become.
I have spent over two years now in preparation for this, completing courses, writing a formal proposal, and reading numerous books and articles. Over the past three weeks I have attempted to bring all of this together in my response to a series of complex and challenging questions. I started this period with an intense sense of trepidation. At first I felt ill-prepared and poorly qualified to accept their challenge. But something happened when I finally opened myself up to the process. I do not know if I will satisfy their expectations. But it does not matter so much anymore because I have satisfied my own. In the end this has to matter the most.
Still I digress. The candidacy I aspire to is for a PhD. What I have been working so diligently towards is to be permitted to actually begin the fieldwork that will give me the material I need to write the dissertation that will qualify me to add Doctor of Philosophy to my list of life accomplishments. Most people who pursue this degree are intent on establishing academic careers. I am simply following a path in life that may lead me to some greater measure of wisdom. This is not about being it is about becoming, though I honestly cannot tell you what it is I expect to become.
I have spent over two years now in preparation for this, completing courses, writing a formal proposal, and reading numerous books and articles. Over the past three weeks I have attempted to bring all of this together in my response to a series of complex and challenging questions. I started this period with an intense sense of trepidation. At first I felt ill-prepared and poorly qualified to accept their challenge. But something happened when I finally opened myself up to the process. I do not know if I will satisfy their expectations. But it does not matter so much anymore because I have satisfied my own. In the end this has to matter the most.
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